Fears & Desires
by skinsfan15
Summary: 2x10 aftermath. What would happen if Jane could no longer ignore what was happening between them. What if Maura wasn't on the same page. Could their friendship survive it. And more importantly could they move past it and develop something more.


**A/N: I know I can never hope to write something as eloquent or moving as what others have done for this fandom, but I can at least try. This is my first story ever so please be kind. **

**It has always annoyed me, a long with others, how 2x10 was handled. I just can not find it plausible that Jane and Maura can go through these traumatic and violent event and laugh it off over cake. So here is my take on how I would have liked the episode to go. Also, I wanted to write something that would pull on the heartstrings a little bit, but don't worry this will have a happy ending (probably ehehe)**

It had been a few short hours since the whole ordeal with Hoyt, yet they had only just been allowed some peace and quiet. Maura was moving around in the kitchen, slightly humming to herself, a tone that was foreign to Janes ears. Jane on the other hand was sitting on the couch, beer in hand, starring at the wall as she was lost in thought.

It was hard to keep the facade that everything was okay during the party. The thing was, Jane didn't have the heart to tell her mum who had obviously spent all day looking for the pony decorations, that the last thing she wanted to do was celebrate. How could she celebrate when every time she looked over at her best friend, the love of her life, she was greeted with the deep cut that Hoyt had inflicted. That injury, along with the scar would be a constant reminder of the danger she constantly put her loved ones through.

"Do you want to clean up now, or should we wait until the morning" Maura spoke softly, bringing Jane back to the present.

_'We'_

That two letter word meant more to Jane then anyone would, and could, ever know. That, along with the fact that her and Maura had seemingly communicated that neither would be leaving the other tonight, was the final straw. Something in Jane snapped. Before she could fully comprehend how it happened, Jane and Maura were clinging to each other, desperately, almost as if they were frightened that they would drift away if they didn't hold on tight enough.

"You... I almost lost you tonight" sobbed Jane.

"But you didn't, we're okay" Maura's bottom lip trembled, almost as if she was trying to convince herself more so than to convince Jane.

"I didn't care so much when he was focussed on me" Jane still couldn't bring herself to say his name out loud.

"But as soon as he started hurting you, I lost it. He knew it would destroy me if he ever hurt you, but he didn't count on how much I was willing to fight for you" Jane whispered, so softly and slowly, that if the wind outside had of been any louder, it would have carried Jane's words away and be forever lost to Maura's ears.

Maura looked up at Jane with tears in her eyes, they shone brightly, showing just how deeply those words had affected Maura. Bolstered by the fact that Maura had not freaked out by her omission. Jane leaned forward impeccably slow, giving Maura an out if she needed it. When it seemed like Maura didn't want Jane to stop what seemed to be inevitable, Jane closed the distance, and their lips grazed across each others, lightly, yet with an undertone of just how deep their passion and emotions for each other were.

_Home. _If Jane Rizzoli were to be asked what it felt like kissing Maura, it would be just one word, home.

However, Jane did not have long to relish in the feeling of kissing Maura for very long. Only a few seconds after Jane had initiated the kiss, she felt Maura pull back sharply, looking startled with a hint of fear marring her beautiful face.

The two women stared at each other wide eye and so completely still, that It would have looked almost comical to an outsider observing the scene.

"Maur..." Jane begun.

What she was about to say was lost forever in a tangle of what ifs, as Maura walked out the door without another word. Jane didn't make a move to stop her, but instead fell to the ground and cried.

**AN: I always imagined that Maura would have a hard time dealing with the change of relationship between them, with the fear of losing her best friend, and the constant need to analyse everything.**

**PLEASE REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW IF I SHOULD CONTINUE WITH THIS STORY!**


End file.
